As a mental health provider, I’ve seen a season of change and wealth of information that has helped educate, and to an extent demystify and alleviate stigma of mental health treatment. It would be minimizing to say that things haven’t changed in the past two decades. However, there continues to be a lack of support and mentorship for career starters and the somewhat antiquated clinical supervision relationship and process recordings are hardly a place to start. Young resourceful people with graduate degrees find themselves with monumental debt and minimal guidance to put the pieces together.  

As well grow older we start reflecting. Reflecting on time. Reflecting on purpose. Reflecting on how significant our feelings were about seemingly menial events of our past. Reliving those not-so-great moments trying to understand them. Trying to understand how we allowed them to happen. For much of my career, I’ve played out the same scenarios in my head and how I could’ve been more effective in my role. We spend much of our lives and careers insisting on how we never want to feel those things again; and for some, the fear of moving past it is more crippling than the vulnerability of working through it. Many times, there is no outlet for us, but we are the outlets for everyone else around us. 

In my experience, supervisory was more of a didactic practice; supervisors were quick to point out my deficits while never paying any respect to the fact that another person could have actual good ideas that just differ. We’re made to feel our own feelings are wrong. We’re living under the illusion that another person in a power position has real control over your career. You’re left feeling incompetent at your job when your lack of insight and judgement may be attributed to lack of experience only aided by the support of others and exposure. 

When we feel wrong we experience shame, a far more devastating human experience than most of our indiscretions. We carry it, we act from it and our life choices can often be a result of it. It sets us all up to feel disappointment before we’ve even allowed ourselves to make an effort. It’s that cycle of low expectations that flavors our field and creates an environment of the lowest standards for the practitioner; and as a culture have internalized this and have allowed it to continue. Young professionals become so focused on not doing wrong that we forget about our purpose and lack the confidence to advocate for more. 

Feeling insecure and mostly insignificant early in my career, I found the most anxiety leveling activity was to work a string of low paying social services jobs. I talked to everyone that would listen. I asked all the questions, and I modeled my behavior and work ethics based on my superiors. The need to feel trusted by my predecessors far exceeded any compensation for me. I would idolize supervisors and accepted that what they suggested was fact. It would take years for me to accept that if something made me feel awful, it likely was. The very concept of supervision became dreadful, and I felt less supported to make sound decisions about how to handle serious cases because the focus was on my naïveté rather than encouragement and exploring solutions. 

As helpers, we try to empower others and use our skills to help people break cycles of abuse. We look at the holistic picture of our clients and give all of ourselves to boost the lives of others so that they can live well. We are independent and resilient; but in our shell you’ll find the most vulnerable and sensitive of people who require just as much support as the populations they serve. It is my goal to not only protect the dignity of the next generation of workers but also educate and empower them to affect change not only in their communities, but to also create communities of support. 

Let’s talk about what makes you uncomfortable, what seems wrong, what you fear, and why you think your fears might cost you your job; with some certainty I can assure you that it mostly never will. I can assure you that by not talking and questioning authority, it can cost you dignity and limit you from being the role model and game changer that you really are and were always meant to be.