Language is important. It becomes outdated and just like people, needs to be reinvented, reevaluated, and reframed. Words take on many other meanings dependent on the receiving party and contrary to the old cliche, words hurt.
When we meet clients it’s often that we meet them at their bottom or on their way down. Therapy generally starts later than ideal and clients frame their regret and challenges as problems. It’s more likely, they lacked the experience and the tools to cope with those circumstances. It is up to us to help redefine and reframe their perspective. Say the same thing differently and you change the flavor of the meaning. Seems obvious and rudimentary when said, but this kind of technique is only useful when we ourselves buy into its validity- and when helping build perspective, it’s our words that make the most difference.
No one looks forward to revisiting pain, and for most of us we prefer to avoid and move along in the hopes we do not repeat negatives patterns. Even if we don’t, we find ourselves regretful for being the person we used to be and never giving any credit to our future selves. You are not your issues alone, you are not the problem, you are human and feelings change as do words. Though as fickle as they might seem, words cannot can’t be unseen, unheard, or unwritten.
You are a better person today because you have had the luxury of time and practice than the person you were yesterday. It is this type of strength language we must use not only in our practice but in our lives. Life feels hard, and it is. We have little we control, but what we can control is the story we tell. Tell yourself a good story, one that gives you permission to move forward and help others do the same.